Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Where To Start

This is my first post and I have a lot of thoughts running through my head. I set up this account last year when I was pregnant but decided not to do it. I think it was too hard of a time for me. I was laid off while I was four months pregnant due to being a high risk pregnancy and on bed rest. When I got off of bedrest two weeks later my boss gave my job away and continued to tell me my whole pregnancy that I still had a job. Well since then I have looked every day for over a year for a job. I have even applied at Mc Donalds. No luck. I am currently a stay at home mom who moved to Lake In The Hills in September to be with my boyfriend and start a new life. I love it. I am so happy to start my life as a family. No longer a single mom crammed in a bedroom with two kids. It was a shoe box. I was living with my mom and we were fighting a lot. That is another post on it's own. So basically I went from super mom working six days a week, doing everything and having no time but good money to just mom who cooks all the time (I do love to cook), cleans, watches more television than I have ever, still has baby weight from giving birth eight months ago, living off of my boyfriend's income and not sure what to do all day. So needless to say this is all still new to me.  I already did the cooking, cleaning and mom part before when being super mom but staying at home and not leaving every day is really different. It gets hard sometimes cause I don't know where to go that isn't going to cost a lot of money. Plus I feel odd spending money. I feel like I can't since It is not mine. I didn't earn it. Even though Dale says don't worry honey its family money. I have worked since I was 14 years old. That is all I know how to do. Not to mention I am still trying to find the time to go back to school for nursing. I have gone back a little at a time but the last time was Seven years ago. When is the best time to go back? Better hurry and go to school before my multiple sclerosis acts up and I can't. Oh yeah forgot to mention I deal with multiple sclerosis on a daily basis. It's annoying for me. The pain doesn't bother me as much as the studdering and not being able to get out the words I want to say but instead I might call a book a bear and a table a tree. My family knows what I really mean sometimes but it is annoying. I am also deaf in my left year because of it. It changed my life in 2003 when I was diagnosed but made me stronger along with the other things that were bad in my life. That again is another post. I have a lot of stories that make my life interesting to tell you. Along with getting used to being a stay at home mom I am also trying to make new friends who I can be close with. I am in a moms group and I like it but it is so hard with Emerald's schedule that I sometimes get discouraged and stay home. I stay home a lot. I only leave on weekends when I make us leave the house and do family things. I really need to find a job or hobby or something to get me out of the house more. Well this is it for today need to make myself lunch before Emie wakes up and needs to be fed. Bye for now.