Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Prisoner of my house

As I sit here and wait for Emie to take her second nap and decide what chores i will get done, I was thinking about how sometimes I feel like a prisoner in my home. i don't leave unless I have a play date set up or an errand to run. I do it too myself because I am not working, so I feel like I don't have the right to leave. I know I have talked about this before, but it never changes and I want my parollment. When will I allow myself to leave and explore a new store or the mall by my house or just a new area. dale has told me you need to leave and my money is our money but it hard when I am not working. I miss the stimulation from working, the conversations, the busyness of moving around. i am trying to keep my mind and body busy but its not working. I don't really know what to do every week. All I do is look for work everyday, go on face book every day and time to time see other people. Help i need to break out of this prison. On another note I applied for federal assistance for school today, so hopefully I can get some or I will have to put that in the budget as well. We still have to do the budget, but dale has been gone since Monday and I can't wait till he gets home. I miss my best friend. he is everything that I have ever wanted in a man, we have always fit together just was never the right timing. but this time we are great. I can't give it all away but in the future we are planning to get married and trying for a baby. I can't say when on the marriage or dale will kill me lol. So Emie went down for a nap and I am trying to finish this, doing laundry, and eating my lunch. I am going today to try to read sometime at night or when I get a moment. I have a bunch of books I have never read that I got from a book club I was in. Also trying to figure out what we are going to do for the weekend. I try to plan things on the weekend so we can spend time as a family and not be bored.