Friday, June 8, 2012

My jelly bean


Jelly bean is what we call the baby. My husband was calling the baby tapeworm (he thought he was funny) and I thought jelly bean was nicer and more appropriate. So far jelly bean has made me extremely nauseous and I have a sour stomach every night. I wake up every night at 2am and can't fall asleep till 4 or 5 am. Partially because I am wide awake after going to the bathroom and partially because I now have a sour stomach so I am eating tums and thinking about things. Some of the things I think about are things I worry about. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I just do either it is from talking to someone or watching things on tv or reading about them. My worries right now have been about miscarriage and if this baby will be alive. I am constantly wondering about the baby inside when I am pregnant. I did this with both girls. Not as bad as I am now with this one but I still did it. Normally I worry in the third trimester. I think it might be because this time it was planned and this time I have someone who wants it as bad as I do. I strongly believe my children are miracles since I have one ovary (one was removed in 1996 when I had a huge softball sized cyst on my ovary and they couldn't remove my cyst without the ovary)and one of my Fallopian tubes is scarred from having an eptopic pregnancy and they removed the baby and there was scarring. So I full heartly believe my kids are miracles. I just can't believe that a universe that would give me a miracle would take that away. I know it happens and all baby are miracles. And I am not saying that the babies that aren't born aren't miracles. I believe they are too and all babies are. I just am trying to be positive and want a good outcome for myself. So the newest thing my jelly bean has given me is constipation. I have been in so much discomfort i started having a sharp pain so I called the doctor and they told me to take a stool softener and a fiber chew. Hopefully this works which I think it will. I can't wait for time to speed up and for me to meet this baby. I am only 8.5 weeks and I am ready to be done lol. It seems when you are pregnant that it takes forever and when the baby is born time flashes so fast that the child becomes grown. Look how fast time has flown for me. Mysterious m is 12 and Evil e is 2. As you can see in the pictures above they have grown so much. Mysterious m  is so tall and Evil e has hair. I love both my girls I wish they would not grow so fast. I just want them to be my babies forever. I love being a sahm to Evil e and teaching her new things. She knows her colors, abcs, is learning parts of Spanish and Italian, can count to 10. She talks more and more clearly. Mysterious m is entering 7th grade next year and is on honor roll. I love watching their different personalities and likes/dislikes. One is a tomb boy(Evil e) and one is a girly girl(mysterious m) and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am also very excited that I have my 1 year anniversary on Monday to my awesome husband. I look forward to 50 more with him. I have known him for 10 years and am glad to have picked him as my soul mate. We are perfect together. Now I will go switch my laundry and finish making dinner. I won't wait so long to write another.