Monday, February 3, 2014

To change or not to change It's that simple

I know change is hard. I struggle with it all the time. Being an addict change is super hard on me. So I understand completely struggling from time to time. What I don't understand is when someone just lets a situation happen to them. If you are not happy with yourself why not change or if you are unhappy in a relationship than try to change how you are in that relationship or how you talk to each other. That is all you really can do in a relationship. But for me complaining and whining is not an option in life. I constantly hear Mysterious complain about how things are not fair. I know she is capable of change, so does she but for some odd reason she enjoys complaining. Complaining and whining and never doing anything about it is a victim. Her therapist even says this. But I don't understand why you want to be a victim when you can be a survivor.

I am a survivor, I have been a victim in situations I could not control and I chose to survive or I would of died. I also was a victim in my teenager years of my choosing where I would complain and whine and not change. It got me nowhere. I was pathetic and I didn't care. I didn't care about  myself. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone.I don't understand why people don't get that. I know it took me awhile to see that.And sometimes I don't have patience with whiners and I know I should have more patience since I fully admit I was one. But still it drives me insane. If you don't like your life than change it. You can only change yourself not anyone else or anything else. So if your life sucks but you have changed yourself and have done everything you possibly can than I truly am sorry than life does suck but for those that all you do is have a pity party than you only have yourself to blame.

I am not trying to be mean but I will not sugar coat anymore. I have friends like this, my brother and mother are like this along with people in my family and my oldest is like this. I will continue to make my life better, change myself and am fully aware of others needs(or at least I try to be). If my relationship with my husband was failing I would do everything in my power to make it better. Relationships are hard especially living with someone else. Men can be little bitches sometimes even the good ones. I love my husband and we do fight not often and not for long but we tell the other person our feelings and how things can change. This could be sexual, financial, emotional, however things to change so they are constantly better and not failing we will do it. As you should. In a relationship there are two people not one. It's a "WE" thing not a "ME" or "I" thing.

Like I said it's jut that simple.Now I didn't say it will happen over night I am not a magician but over days you can see a change. I am making a change for the better for my life. I will be working out from home a couple times a week (starting off a couple times a week first so I don't die from an asthma attack ;) ) Not just because I want to lose the last 10 pounds from Evilcious. I know I look slim but I have had those pesky 10 pounds from her (she will be 4 on feb 22nd by the way) that just wouldn't go away. Plus I have a saggy butt now that I am getting older, hips that are so wide I really am an hour glass, a butt that is so huge I knock everything over so I will be tightening that ass. I just  want to look good and feel good. I have an eating disorder that I have kept control for some years now and staying in shape will help that little demon stay in control.

I don't eat like crap so working out will be a lifestyle change not a quick fix with some dieting. I don't believe in dieting. I will also go back to only two cheat days a week (which is chocolate cheat days).  If I can wake up at 6 am and workout and change my lifestyle, I think others can quit whining and complaining and change. I hope my oldest starts changing soon. She was doing good for 6 days straight there than just stopped caring and has for over 7 days just been unruly. I want her to love herself and care enough to change for herself not for me or for her therapist or for anyone but for her. Than she will will truly feel great for herself.

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