Scared of change

So I start my orientation on Thursday for four hours and then I train for six days. I have to find a sitter for three days during the week to watch emie and i am scared. I have only put Mikayla in daycare and she was 2 when she started. Emie is 9 months and someone will come here to watch her. I am interviewing tomorrow and i found these women from care.com. They all have education with children, that is how I wanted it to be. I am scared of change no I hate change. I know it is good for me but when I am going through it at the moment i am kicking and screaming. I am also scared of working since i haven't done that in over a year. I am also scared that the person babysitting will steal my things. I didn't say i was rational. I am just panicking because there has been so much change in the last few months that I want to scream. All good change, but still scary for me. Oh well i will get past this and life will move on. I won't be bored that's a huge plus. I will still make time for my friends and social life though. I just can't wait to be able to go to stores and get things and go on vacation and save again. Just want to be on track like i was before i was laid off. I really hate winter, its gloomy and too cold outside. I love to do winter activities but sometimes OK pretty much most of the time i like to stay at home where it is warm and cozy. I try to do go out and do family stuff but it is hard to get motivated when it is freezing. We still have to put decorations up in the yard and in the house. I also have cleaning to do this week. Busy busy the way i like to be. I still haven't watched my shows yet. I will do this all today. hopefully. I was up with emie twice last night and the second time i was so tired that i just put her in my bed. I know its wrong but it was like 4 am and the first time took so long to get her to sleep. I am also wondering what to do with my hair. When i was a teenager i blow dried my hair and did it all the time. Now I just wash it and throw it in a ponytail or let it air dry. OK got to go i hear emie.