Can't catch up

Lately I feel like I can't catch up with where I want to be. My days consist of cleaning, kids, work, laundry, cooking, preparing baby food, stuffing cloth diapers, fighting with middle child to listen, fighting with oldest to try and to care. I haven't had time to take a little me time by either watching tv shows or playing my video games.  My husband and I barely have sex twice a month if were lucky since the baby came. I haven't left the house unless its a weekend. (My middle child has been in a mood where she just wants to stay home.) I just feel like all I do is domestic shit and this mama needs a break. I want ti play my video game. I want to go somewhere fun with kids. I hate being locked in like Rapunzel. My hair isn't that long. I am super concerned my oldest will be in residential inpatient if she doesn't start trying. She plots my death on a daily basis. She wants to kick her baby brother. I don't understand why she doesn't see what we do for her. Especially me! It hurts to see someone not try and not care wondering if  she will kill herself. I hear constantly my life sucks, your a horrible mom. I think lately that's why I don't fight so hard to leave the house. I have no desire to leave. I feel like a monster. I know she is just angry and its not my fault but it still gets to you. Thankfully I leave twice a week for work for a few hours. That helps. My husband helps but sometimes he just fights with her and It makes it all worse. I just need it all to get easier. I don't know I how I can make it any better than I am trying to do. But everyone has to work with me or I will just drown from all of this. I am a strong person and very patient. But I have had my fill lately with all the arguing, negative comments, negative thoughts and not trying. My middle child is picking up some of these behaviors. I sometimes honestly just want to lock myself in a room and just veg with the tv. Obviously with kids since I would never leave them. I just need a break badly. I need a break from the constant chaos. She is so out of control lately that everyone has seen it. Usually she won't fight or be this way in front of others but lately its in front of everyone and anyone. I feel like I should hide all of us away from the view of others when she is like this. I constantly give her pep talks and let her know that i am here for her. We will see if it changes soon or we will have to put her back in. I just don't want to do that. I know that if she is not trying now that she might not try in inpatient or when she comes back out.