bad mom

My oldest always has a way of making me feel like a bad mom. She fights, talks back and says I don't like her and that when I am punishing her that is how I get back at her. She always says when I tell my husband that she is being bad "why do you have to be a bad mom and tell him". Today for example I have my nieces over from a sleepover they had with us last night. My oldest who is 11 was good last night but this morning turned into her normal not listening self. She got mouthy a few times with me but I let them slide and told her to knock it off. Then she was fine pretty much all day.... Emerald went down for a nap and the other kids wanted to ride bikes in my driveway. Mikayla freaked out on me because I wanted her to ride her newer bigger bike and let her cousin who is smaller ride her old bike. She started yelling at me because she is afraid to completely ride her bike and she didn't want to share. I told her to sit down and relax and she started mouthing off more. So I sent her in the house to stay in her bedroom. Then the girls didn't want to ride bikes since Mikayla wasn't out there so they went in the kiddie pool. I went upstairs to talk to mikayla and she was crying and telling me i'm a bad mom. It's all my fault. I really hate when does that to me. I didn't do anything wrong. My job as a parent is sometimes not rewarding when i have to punish. My job is to make sure I teach right from wrong and make sure she is safe,. If I let her walk around talking to me like I am lower than her then I am doing a disservice to her when she is older. She also doesn't like to do chores. Everyday is a struggle to get her to do chores, take a shower, listen to me and not mouth off. Sometimes I feel like I mess up with her. Do you ever feel this way? Being a parent is hard.