TGIF

I decided to do a TGIF every Friday since I was a child it has always been my favorite day. I would get so excited for 7pm to watch all my TGIF shows on ABC. I miss those shows. My favorite was perfect strangers, Hanging with Mr. Cooper, and Step by Step. So here it goes....

•  TGIF even though it's raining I will enjoy my day with cleaning and grocery shopping.
•   I get to enjoy my weekend in Wisconsin at the family home my in laws have.
•   I get my hubby all weekend with him not leaving for business trips.
•  hopefully the rain all weekend will help my poor grass not look so dead.
•   I think I will finally sit down and read a book since I am in a reading competition with my oldest. (She has read 3 books and I have read 0). 
•  I can watch Harry potter movies all weekend.
• I mixed two coffee creamers since the one was low and didn't want to have coffee with less creamer. Yes it was an interesting flavor but I am still going to drink it and enjoy it.
• My dog is so scared from the storm that he is sharing my seat on the couch.
• I love my Saturday mornings with my father in law and our conversations in Wisconsin.
• I  am so glad I can catch up on my shows this weekend. 
• I am super happy that I found a few new shows for me to watch this summer. Like Fringe, how i met your mother and Dexter. (no there not new but I get to start from season one and there new to me)
• I love the sound of rain and thunder.

Birthday wishes

Today is my birthday and I am 31. It's just a number for me. Not really upset I am 31. I embrace each year I get older. Every year I get myself something for my birthday. Not saying my hubby or anyone else doesn't give me good presents. I do it because when I was a child my mom always made promises and broke them on my birthday. So I make a promise to myself to get myself something every year so I have something to look forward too. Usually I get make up at sephora or ulta. But not sure if that is what I will do or not.... Still deciding. I did get a bad present already this year but I am one of those that doesn't return gifts, only because the person did try to get my something they thought I would like but it isn't what I would get myself. The bad present was from my brother, he got me combat boots(which was my style when I was 16)and wedge heels that are not at all what I would choose. But I will wear them proud near him as to not offend him. I know I shouldn't keep something I don't like but he tried. As for the other gifts I will keep you posted on what I got. I did get some money from my in laws and Dale's grandma(our grandma, just too hard to write my grandma and explain). So the plan for today is to take kids to the splash park for a bit then maybe clean the house and later watch harry potter movies so I can catch up. My hubby wants to cook me dinner. I think I will teach him how to cook Tilapia tonight or shrimp scampi. This year I am very grateful for the people in my life and the things I have accomplished from the year before. My birthday wish is to have another great year of accomplishing things and having fun with good people.

bad mom

My oldest always has a way of making me feel like a bad mom. She fights, talks back and says I don't like her and that when I am punishing her that is how I get back at her. She always says when I tell my husband that she is being bad "why do you have to be a bad mom and tell him". Today for example I have my nieces over from a sleepover they had with us last night. My oldest who is 11 was good last night but this morning turned into her normal not listening self. She got mouthy a few times with me but I let them slide and told her to knock it off. Then she was fine pretty much all day.... Emerald went down for a nap and the other kids wanted to ride bikes in my driveway. Mikayla freaked out on me because I wanted her to ride her newer bigger bike and let her cousin who is smaller ride her old bike. She started yelling at me because she is afraid to completely ride her bike and she didn't want to share. I told her to sit down and relax and she started mouthing off more. So I sent her in the house to stay in her bedroom. Then the girls didn't want to ride bikes since Mikayla wasn't out there so they went in the kiddie pool. I went upstairs to talk to mikayla and she was crying and telling me i'm a bad mom. It's all my fault. I really hate when does that to me. I didn't do anything wrong. My job as a parent is sometimes not rewarding when i have to punish. My job is to make sure I teach right from wrong and make sure she is safe,. If I let her walk around talking to me like I am lower than her then I am doing a disservice to her when she is older. She also doesn't like to do chores. Everyday is a struggle to get her to do chores, take a shower, listen to me and not mouth off. Sometimes I feel like I mess up with her. Do you ever feel this way? Being a parent is hard.

Bills.Pools. Bikes

All I have done today is stayed in my pajamas did laundry( I do mine,Dale's,Mikayla's,emerald's and my brothers, I don't trust they will put the clothes away neatly.), payed bills, found a pool for all of us to swim in, found bikes for us to buy on Craig's list that are cheap. My goal is for everyone to have a bike so we can go on bike rides together. I even found a bike trailer that fits two kids to go on the back of my bike. I love Craig's list to find stuff that isn't in bad shape and isn't a lot of money. I feel proud that we are catching up on bills and I feel like we will be all caught up very soon. I was scared for awhile but I'm not anymore. I am a good budgeter. I try very hard not to buy something I don't need. We don't go out a lot and we have a backyard full of stuff for the kiddies. I love my house. Next I am looking for playschool houses or play items for Emie to play in. I am looking on craigs list. I also went to a garage sale yesterday and bought some baby toys,clothes for mikayla, and a motorized truck for Emie. That truck was such a good find. I paid 25 when it is normally 300 or so. I love those kind of finds. So dale just bought us 3 bikes for 100. Yeah craigs list! The only thing I really need to learn is how do I get my grocery bill down a lot. I coupon shop, I shop deals. I need to learn how to save more grocery shopping. I am open to suggestions.

Lots of thoughts in my head

So this morning I have been reading other blogs and just thinking about my life and how much I have grown in the last almost 31 years. (yes my birthday is next Thursday and I will be 31. Thought you might want to know in case you wanted to buy me something lol) I love reading other women's blogs because it makes me feel like I am not alone in certain situations. I don't really have an example right now but just in general. I like how we can write on here as if it is our diary or as if we are talking to a friend. Sometimes I don't give my complete honesty and tell you everything that is going on in my world, only because I feel like I am putting my dirty laundry out there and get nervous what others must think of me. I do not frown upon it when I see others being openly honest on their blogs. I am not sure if I can do that. I am trying, I really am. It took me along time to even trust people like I do. I used to be sceptical of people because of the things that happened to me in the past. I still wonder sometimes when I am friends with new people if they truly like me or have a hidden agenda? But I push those feelings out of me so that I don't waste any useless energy on negative feelings. My past is the past but sometimes it does sneak up on me. I went  through a lot in my life that most people haven't and shouldn't. Trust me this stuff is scary, dark stuff that should be spoken of. It's that bad. But I am stronger from all of it and have grown and changed a lot. I love myself for who I am and what I will be. I like to help others who are going through I went through or just need a friend for advice. I like being that person. I like that I a married with two beautiful kids and hopefully soon more. I like that I am more stable than I have ever been in my life. I have become sorta a 1950's wife where I cook, clean and am happy being with my kids. I never wanted to be that person but I love that I am her. I love having a nice clean home that I am proud of. I still haven't decided what I will do in my future where school and career fall. Hopefully I will decide all that soon.

My week so far

So Dale is getting ready to drive out of town for work(so hate that he does). He will be back by 10pm or sooner tonight but still hate it. On July 31st he will be going to Connecticut for a week. I really don't want him to leave that long and I am debating if I will go with. (he already knows this and is OK with this) I have been thrown off all week with chores and errands due to the power outage. I haven't gone grocery shopping yet and have to very soon after i write this since i am officially out of diapers. How did I let that happen?! I have two kids and it takes me so long to get ready, feed them and do errands, what will I do when I have 3? My dad had his weekly visit here yesterday where we all played mad gab with him. Lots of fun, if you have never played you should. I keep saying I need to start walking around the block every night so I can lose weight. Well tonight hopefully I will get the chance. I really would like to get to know how to add things on my blog like other blogs do. (appearance things) I haven't found any blogs about older kids. It really is hard sometimes the age gap between mikayla and emerald. Mikayla is 11 and Emerald is 16 months. Its hard to find activities for both kid's ages. I love the help mikayla gives me but she is in the preteen stage and has loads of attitude and sassiness. So on a daily basis i am in a power struggle with her. Fun Fun. I am wondering if I should sell jewelry and other stuff I make online. A bunch of people say I should. Hmmmm. I have been applying for babysitting jobs where I either bring Emerald with or watch children here. No luck so far. Really would like extra money to have and to help with debt we have. Emerald is at the stage where I am getting a booster chair for her to sit at the table with us(she climbs on the chairs and sits and tries to eat with us), also I will be starting potty training slowly(she brings me the diaper when she poops and needs a changing). I have a moms night out tomorrow with my moms group. I can't wait since I haven't gone out by myself in months. I have a birthday party for my niece this weekend so I am not going to Wisconsin. I so need to the kids out of the house this week and weekend. Wondering what I will do?

Children, Rivers and sunburn

I had so much fun over the fourth of July weekend. We went to our in laws family home in Wisconsin where we went on the boat, went on the jet skis, swam in the river and relaxed with family. we had our own firework shows, with a campfire and some glow sticks that I got at the dollar store. It was a fun weekend. I got so sunburned on Monday that I have been recovering since. I also sometime over the weekend pulled or strained a muscle in my shoulder. It has been swollen and so painful to move. I haven't slept in three days, I keep waking up in pain. I feel a little bit better each day with Tylenol and cold packs and rest. Today I finally caught up on every one's laundry and tomorrow I hope I feel better enough to clean the house. Were going back up to Wisconsin this weekend. we try to go every weekend if we can. I have had two responses back to me on babysitting/nanny jobs. I am trying to get a babysitting/nanny job where I can bring emerald or I can watch children at my home. I think this fall I will take some CNA classes along with some child development classes. I have been thinking about starting my own home daycare, thanks to a friend of mine who has her own and has been helping me and trying to convince me to open my own. She knows who she is lol. Here is the web address for my profile on care.com.http://www.care.com/childcare/heathers799 So tell your friends or anyone else you know if you need a sitter/nanny and you live in Illinois in the northwest suburbs. So basically my week has just been applying for jobs, resting my shoulder so I can recover and enjoying the kids. I have had some stress with finances and home stuff but I am not one who likes to air my dirty laundry. Still not sure how honest and open I want to be on here.