Cell Phone Hell

I have been a US Cellular customer for 8 years and I love them! But sadly I received a letter that they sold my contract along with any who lives in Illinois, St. Louis and Indiana to Sprint. I hate Sprint. I used to have AT&T than they switched to Cingular and they were putting extra amounts in my bills with no explanations, than Nextel who switched to Sprint who was shutting my phone off after I paid a bill and wanted more money. They did this when I locked my keys in the car and needed to call for help so I had to walk a few miles in the rain to a ranger station since I was camping. I was super frustrated. I am very sad and frustrated to have to look for a different phone since my is invalid at other companies and find a company that has good deals, customer service and doesn't drop calls. I am very nervous. I have been doing research on this for the last few days. I know this may sound silly to some since it is just a cell phone. But unfortunately I am very much attached to electronics from the hip. I lost my phone once at the Library and quickly found it but in that short time I was freaking out. I have so much information on my phone that is important that if I lost it I would feel like my arm was cut off and I wouldn't know what to do. Same with my laptop. I know there was a time that we didn't have cell phones or laptops but I am so tech savvy and attached that if we had a permanent black out like my favorite show "Revolution" I would probably have a heart attack lol. So I have narrowed it down to T-mobile and Verizon. Both have good deals but T-mobile has already pissed me off. I found the plan and phone yesterday that worked for me and sent it through online and stupidly used a credit card that was in my maiden name (They won't switch to my married last name till I sent a social security card, which I won't) so I had to talk to customer service and the guy was trying to get me to buy on the phone and kept telling me things that were wrong.( I told you I do my research and am very tech savvy. I was once offered a job at US Cellular for knowing so much about phones. If I am going to spend the money I better know the product and make sure it is worth my money and time. )So he deletes the order and tells me to redo the order which I do and it tells me to call customer service again. This time the rep tells me that my account needs verifying and this takes a few minutes than she tells me to refresh my screen, I do and then it was declining my credit card which she tells me I have to go into the store. I hate going into cell phone stores because you sit in line for awhile, They try to sell you stuff you don't want/need, and sometimes I don't like people that much lol. So I am going to try doing this online again if this doesn't work than Verizon wins by default. Ugh so frustrating. I am almost said (in a tantrum state mind you) yesterday that I was going to add my tablet to my husbands account on Sprint and not have a phone but talk on my tablet. I won't be able to text but can make phone calls and I love my tablet. Everyone laughed at me that I said this too. I just hate all of this decisions. Oh well if that is all that my problem is than I guess my life is really good :) Hopefully this gets resolved soon since I sat all day on the computer yesterday trying to figure this out. I have a no electronics/tv rule after 11am so I can spend unlimited/uninterrupted time with the kids and they are not allowed to watch tv either. So we turn on music and dance, or do crafts or go somewhere. Than during nap time I can go back online after I do my chores. My name is Heather and I am addicted to my computer,cell phone, lap top and i pod lol.

Mom or non mom?

I have been struggling with my "mom" look. I literally have shirts in my dresser divided in two sections mom and non mom shirts. The "non mom" shirts are just graphic t shirts, young hip looking. The "mom" shirts are a little more baggier and something my mom would wear lol. The "mom" shirts are not ugly they have designs and they fit me well but they make me feel like an old lady, they are something you would buy in the womens section of a store which is geared to the older women and the "non mom" shirts are in the junior section of a store geared for younger women. I am not saying that you can't look like a mom dressed like in high heels and a mini skirt. There is no right or wrong. I personally dress like a non mom when I am with  mom friends and when I am home I dress like a mom. I have put myself in this category where I split myself when Mysterious m was born. Because I am tattooed and come from a family where that is not acceptable. I do make sure when I am with family that I have a sweater to cover up my arms, so that is another reason I split myself up in two different categories. I want to be a cute mom in nice clothing. I like to look good because it makes me feel good. My hair is super long and I have been debating on cutting it short to get a different look and making it easier to style. Because again back to the mom look, I feel like I have mom hair. Not super mom hair, but I am showered, brushed and either braided, or half pony mom hair. Which is not bad looking but after awhile it starts to make me feel frumpy. I want people to see me in a store and not be able to tell by looking at me that I have three kids. I am not saying there is anything wrong that I have three kids. I love my kids. I just want to feel young and fresh. Same reason I have dyed my hair for the last 22 years, for the vibrant look that red gives me. I go through this phase after each child once I loose the baby weight and try to get back to finding myself. With each child I cut my hair differently, got new clothes and broke out of my mom mold. It is so I still have an identity and not just mom. I am still Heather and that is why even if I am at home I still put eyeliner, mascara and do my hair. I want to feel good and confident. I know we all struggle with weight issues, body issues and image issues. I just want to feel good. Do you ever feel like this? What is your wardrobe like?

Feel like I am drowning

I can't believe it has been five months since I last wrote on here. I constantly am saying to myself ooh that will be a good blog and i forget and don't blog anything. Today I need to start doing things for myself especially blogging. I am feeling very in a funk today the raining isn't helping and they are talking about snow tomorrow and two days next week. Ugh well enough about the crazy weather. I am feeling like all I am is a mom not saying that is a bad thing. Let me help you understand what I am meaning. When you are a working mom (speaking from my own experiences not every working mother in the world) which I was once upon a time, I wanted to be able to with my kids more, spend more time doing fun things with them, I felt chained to my job. Now that I am a stay at home mom and have been for a few years now I feel chained to my home. So I am trying to find a balance where I don't just feel like a mom and not a person. Also I have noticed when I am talking to family or non mom friends, I feel like all I am doing is talking about my kids and not listening as much. Which is one of my flaws I am working on. I do most of my thinking in the shower, and as I was enjoying my shower so I could enjoy my coffee I thought about my blogging, not having any real me time, not doing anything for myself really anymore. Today I am a little lonely, feeling a little down, and realizing I can't allow these feelings to take over or I will just lose. And I hate losing lol. Lately since of weather my day has consisted of me just fading out in front of a television or playing a game. Some time I don't feel like such a great mom since my daughter usually doesn't watch much television but lately she has watched entirely too much. I do plan play dates 2-3 times a week so that we are being social and getting out of the house. But I want to do more. So today I am getting off my pity pedestal and am going to be a better mother(not saying I am a bad one, just today I feel like I suck). Sometimes life kicks you in the head and you feel discouraged. I am feeling that way a lot lately. With Mysterious m struggling with her bipolar, which is hard on me since she really isn't trying in therapy all she does is blame me, or repeat things she is told, we are all working on her to express her feelings in the right way and to own up to her lying, bad habits, laziness. It is a struggle but I am hopeful. She is starting a mentor program tomorrow where a lady will come into my home and take her out twice a week for two hours at a time. She will take her wherever she wants to go and teach her coping skills, better ways to talk to us, social skills and other things we talked about in therapy that I can't remember right now. I am positive in the long run this will work out. That is the only way I can be in this hard situation is hopeful. I am hopeful my husband will learn how to be more patience with Mysterious m and her bipolar, I am hopeful Mysterious m will be more positive and less dramatic. I am hopeful that I will get more strength each day to continue to help her.Now to the other children: Evil e is learning more like behind you, next to you and I am so proud of her. She has more conversations with me and she is a delight. She has recently started having a problem with wetting herself while napping or sleeping. She is completely potty trained and now wears pull ups. I am not sure why we went backwards but I am trying to help her. Walker is extremely fussy lately and barely naps during the day. Yesterday he slept twice in the car, I went to visit a family member and it was the most he has slept in days. Not sure why he is having a sleep problem during the day but am thankful it is not at night. The last time we weighed him he was 16.5 pounds. I will have to weigh him to see how much he has gained recently. He will be four months on 4/26. My little boy is growing so fast. It makes me sad to realize how fast my kids are growing. I am going to try to give myself a little me time a day to do things beside shower, drink coffee and read my book at night. I promise to write each morning during coffee time or atleast a few times a day. Please don't think I don't want want to be a mom or that I don't like my kids, I am trying to just find a balance. I have a brain that likes to continue to have knowledge. I used to read textbooks about different subjects when I was bored when I was 20. I think I might do that again, I'm weird but I like learning new things and not feeling like my brain is turning to mush. Ok well Evil e has woken up and coffee time is almost over so tomorrow my friends......