Wishing

So again as I was brushing my hair this afternoon, I had a thought about if I had one wish. Yes I do a lot of thinking when I am in the shower or when I am cleaning. Those are my only alone times I have to myself. If I had one wish it would be for money. I know that is what everyone says but extra money would be good for us. my life is pretty much perfect other than needing more money. I do need to lose weight but why use a wish on that when I can just exercise. I have a nice home and good kids. For the most part they are behaved. Ha Ha. I do feel bad when I have to punish my oldest so much, but she never learns, she is always telling me off or not listening. I love her terribly but I'm scared of what her as a teenager might be. I remember what I was like as a teenager and it frightens me. I don't want to picture my baby growing  up and doing things she shouldn't. I just hope with all the teachings of right  and wrong that we have taught her that she will grow up to be a well adjusted young lady. I have also planned that she will go to college and live her till she has finished. I really want all of my children, to have a college education and have a career they like and will make money from. I do regret not going to college when I was younger, but I had a different life, I was going through some stuff. No one really explained to me all of the feelings I had and how I was supposed to feel going through what I went through. I went through a couple of horrible ordeals growing up, from molestation to rape to abusive boyfriends. That is as much of details I want to contribute so far on that. I regret getting kicked out of school at 16. I did get my GED but it's not the same. I have worked since I  was 14 and I did work a lot when I  was kicked out, but I  did goof off with friends and get into trouble when I was not working. I just wish that I could of realized how important an education was and how important saving from that age would have been. I was not thinking of future or education at all. So I will push my children to have an education and not to settle for anything less but the best. That is all I can ask for. So Dale is leaving for a few days for work and I mad because I selfishly want him home with me. I know it's his job and he has to do it but I want him home with me. Oh well nothing I can do about it but just hope the day goes by faster. I also told him that he has to get me a gift every time he leaves. Remember that Dale, I say that because I know he reads this. Ha Ha. Another disappointment today was when I took a pregnancy test again, which I do every  so often, since we are trying. I am not pregnant yet, getting impatient even though I know it will happen, it's just since I  went off the depo provera shot in September, we haven't gotten pregnant yet. It can however take up to a year. I am not in a hurry we just want another one soon. It is nice to finally have a kid that is planned and with someone you love. Yes Dale thinks of both the girls as his and they are his, no not biologically but in every other way. Just because they have sperm donors does not make those men who gave up their rights fathers. Dale is and will always be there dad. OK going to finish watching Harry potter and relax before bed.