Thinking of past regrets

Sometimes I wonder how life would be if I went to college. Will I ever go back and fulfill my dream as a nurse? Or will I only work jobs and never have a career. And how do I find time for me to express my creative side? I think of these things a lot. I am a creative person and sometimes I feel like I am hiding it. I feel like that part is sleeping. I also feel if I do spend time on that side that I am neglectingy obligations like the kids, the housework, and my man. So how do I fulfill myself but not feel guilty? I miss school. I know that sound weird but I lobe to learn and read new things. After I had mikayla I would buy different textbooks so I could learn something new. It might be tome for that again. I'm a person that always has to have knowledge around her. Always learning and growing. The last 10 years I have consumed my extra time with computer games or with Internet. I need to do that less and feed my knowledge more. Hopefully I can start this quest soon. Not sure where to start. As far as going back to school not sure where or if to start again there.