Looking behind me

I have often caught myself the past week thinking about the past few years and seeing what is different. I no longer live with my mom and have three people in a bedroom( me, my oldest and my youngest). I am happily married with each kid having their own room. I was on unemployment during my pregnancy and before that worked 6-7 days a week. Now I am a stay at home mom who gets to be with her kids 24/7. I had an active social life where I went out after work or on weekends. I barely go out by myself on weekends and I try to have play dates with friends at least twice a week. I do get lonely at times being at home during the day. A lot may have changed but I am grateful for it since it was in the better. Sometimes I do miss the old days of things but I make the best of that moment. I try to keep myself as occupied as I can so I am not too lonely in the daytime. I do a lot with my youngest. I just wish I lived closer to my friends and new more people near me. I also sometimes miss my side of my family. I wish I had a family that was closer to me in the terms of bonding not distance. My family unfortunately is not very close in that sense. They get together every holiday but at the same time they have a tendency to be extremely judgemental and not forgiving of peoples pasts. I long for a real relationship with them and my mom and I try but they can't see past my past or stop being judgemental. They don't try to get to know me or my new family. Instead they judge people and it hurts me. I wasn't sure if I was going to talk about it on here but I decided it maybe someone will see and have good advice. All I have ever wanted was my family to be a family and not an episode of a soap opera. For now I will distance myself from them and have no contact with them until I can see that they want to change and want to be in a real relationship with my family. It is sad for me since I am so family oriented. I just wish they could see what I see. I don't understand why people have to be that way. Life is too short.