Through sickness and health

Over the past weekend I was sick with a stomach virus. My stomach hurt so bad that I was willing to make any deal with the universe to feel better. I would of rather been in labor with another baby that's how bad I felt. Through out the whole weekend while I was feeling icky my husband took over and helped with kids and nurses me. (He usually helps a ton) but this was different. I laid on the couch and played simcity while my stomach cramped. It was nice to relax. I still helped feed the baby. But I'm glad for my hubby. When asked if she would help me my oldest refused and said why should I help mom with her chores I just want to be lazy. Got to love teenagers.  Now she's sick and she wants mommy to baby her. Even though she was mean to me all weekend and I was a little mean back since my feelings were hurt I still take care of sick kids even if that means baby them. That's just the type of mom I am. I hope the two little ones don't get this. My little evil e had a stomach virus so bad a few months back that she had to be hospitalized. It was scary. She couldn't keep anything down. She was constantly sick, very dehydrated. Looked like a skeleton. I was worried. She even lost weight. After two days in the hospital with meds and an I.v she was better. My heart goes out to the moms and dads who have kids with cancer and terminal illnesses. She was just sick with a bug and I was scared. I can't imagine how it is for the parents with a really sick child. Hopefully she won't get it and I really hope the baby won't either.

Cell Phone Hell

I have been a US Cellular customer for 8 years and I love them! But sadly I received a letter that they sold my contract along with any who lives in Illinois, St. Louis and Indiana to Sprint. I hate Sprint. I used to have AT&T than they switched to Cingular and they were putting extra amounts in my bills with no explanations, than Nextel who switched to Sprint who was shutting my phone off after I paid a bill and wanted more money. They did this when I locked my keys in the car and needed to call for help so I had to walk a few miles in the rain to a ranger station since I was camping. I was super frustrated. I am very sad and frustrated to have to look for a different phone since my is invalid at other companies and find a company that has good deals, customer service and doesn't drop calls. I am very nervous. I have been doing research on this for the last few days. I know this may sound silly to some since it is just a cell phone. But unfortunately I am very much attached to electronics from the hip. I lost my phone once at the Library and quickly found it but in that short time I was freaking out. I have so much information on my phone that is important that if I lost it I would feel like my arm was cut off and I wouldn't know what to do. Same with my laptop. I know there was a time that we didn't have cell phones or laptops but I am so tech savvy and attached that if we had a permanent black out like my favorite show "Revolution" I would probably have a heart attack lol. So I have narrowed it down to T-mobile and Verizon. Both have good deals but T-mobile has already pissed me off. I found the plan and phone yesterday that worked for me and sent it through online and stupidly used a credit card that was in my maiden name (They won't switch to my married last name till I sent a social security card, which I won't) so I had to talk to customer service and the guy was trying to get me to buy on the phone and kept telling me things that were wrong.( I told you I do my research and am very tech savvy. I was once offered a job at US Cellular for knowing so much about phones. If I am going to spend the money I better know the product and make sure it is worth my money and time. )So he deletes the order and tells me to redo the order which I do and it tells me to call customer service again. This time the rep tells me that my account needs verifying and this takes a few minutes than she tells me to refresh my screen, I do and then it was declining my credit card which she tells me I have to go into the store. I hate going into cell phone stores because you sit in line for awhile, They try to sell you stuff you don't want/need, and sometimes I don't like people that much lol. So I am going to try doing this online again if this doesn't work than Verizon wins by default. Ugh so frustrating. I am almost said (in a tantrum state mind you) yesterday that I was going to add my tablet to my husbands account on Sprint and not have a phone but talk on my tablet. I won't be able to text but can make phone calls and I love my tablet. Everyone laughed at me that I said this too. I just hate all of this decisions. Oh well if that is all that my problem is than I guess my life is really good :) Hopefully this gets resolved soon since I sat all day on the computer yesterday trying to figure this out. I have a no electronics/tv rule after 11am so I can spend unlimited/uninterrupted time with the kids and they are not allowed to watch tv either. So we turn on music and dance, or do crafts or go somewhere. Than during nap time I can go back online after I do my chores. My name is Heather and I am addicted to my computer,cell phone, lap top and i pod lol.

Mom or non mom?

I have been struggling with my "mom" look. I literally have shirts in my dresser divided in two sections mom and non mom shirts. The "non mom" shirts are just graphic t shirts, young hip looking. The "mom" shirts are a little more baggier and something my mom would wear lol. The "mom" shirts are not ugly they have designs and they fit me well but they make me feel like an old lady, they are something you would buy in the womens section of a store which is geared to the older women and the "non mom" shirts are in the junior section of a store geared for younger women. I am not saying that you can't look like a mom dressed like in high heels and a mini skirt. There is no right or wrong. I personally dress like a non mom when I am with  mom friends and when I am home I dress like a mom. I have put myself in this category where I split myself when Mysterious m was born. Because I am tattooed and come from a family where that is not acceptable. I do make sure when I am with family that I have a sweater to cover up my arms, so that is another reason I split myself up in two different categories. I want to be a cute mom in nice clothing. I like to look good because it makes me feel good. My hair is super long and I have been debating on cutting it short to get a different look and making it easier to style. Because again back to the mom look, I feel like I have mom hair. Not super mom hair, but I am showered, brushed and either braided, or half pony mom hair. Which is not bad looking but after awhile it starts to make me feel frumpy. I want people to see me in a store and not be able to tell by looking at me that I have three kids. I am not saying there is anything wrong that I have three kids. I love my kids. I just want to feel young and fresh. Same reason I have dyed my hair for the last 22 years, for the vibrant look that red gives me. I go through this phase after each child once I loose the baby weight and try to get back to finding myself. With each child I cut my hair differently, got new clothes and broke out of my mom mold. It is so I still have an identity and not just mom. I am still Heather and that is why even if I am at home I still put eyeliner, mascara and do my hair. I want to feel good and confident. I know we all struggle with weight issues, body issues and image issues. I just want to feel good. Do you ever feel like this? What is your wardrobe like?

Feel like I am drowning

I can't believe it has been five months since I last wrote on here. I constantly am saying to myself ooh that will be a good blog and i forget and don't blog anything. Today I need to start doing things for myself especially blogging. I am feeling very in a funk today the raining isn't helping and they are talking about snow tomorrow and two days next week. Ugh well enough about the crazy weather. I am feeling like all I am is a mom not saying that is a bad thing. Let me help you understand what I am meaning. When you are a working mom (speaking from my own experiences not every working mother in the world) which I was once upon a time, I wanted to be able to with my kids more, spend more time doing fun things with them, I felt chained to my job. Now that I am a stay at home mom and have been for a few years now I feel chained to my home. So I am trying to find a balance where I don't just feel like a mom and not a person. Also I have noticed when I am talking to family or non mom friends, I feel like all I am doing is talking about my kids and not listening as much. Which is one of my flaws I am working on. I do most of my thinking in the shower, and as I was enjoying my shower so I could enjoy my coffee I thought about my blogging, not having any real me time, not doing anything for myself really anymore. Today I am a little lonely, feeling a little down, and realizing I can't allow these feelings to take over or I will just lose. And I hate losing lol. Lately since of weather my day has consisted of me just fading out in front of a television or playing a game. Some time I don't feel like such a great mom since my daughter usually doesn't watch much television but lately she has watched entirely too much. I do plan play dates 2-3 times a week so that we are being social and getting out of the house. But I want to do more. So today I am getting off my pity pedestal and am going to be a better mother(not saying I am a bad one, just today I feel like I suck). Sometimes life kicks you in the head and you feel discouraged. I am feeling that way a lot lately. With Mysterious m struggling with her bipolar, which is hard on me since she really isn't trying in therapy all she does is blame me, or repeat things she is told, we are all working on her to express her feelings in the right way and to own up to her lying, bad habits, laziness. It is a struggle but I am hopeful. She is starting a mentor program tomorrow where a lady will come into my home and take her out twice a week for two hours at a time. She will take her wherever she wants to go and teach her coping skills, better ways to talk to us, social skills and other things we talked about in therapy that I can't remember right now. I am positive in the long run this will work out. That is the only way I can be in this hard situation is hopeful. I am hopeful my husband will learn how to be more patience with Mysterious m and her bipolar, I am hopeful Mysterious m will be more positive and less dramatic. I am hopeful that I will get more strength each day to continue to help her.Now to the other children: Evil e is learning more like behind you, next to you and I am so proud of her. She has more conversations with me and she is a delight. She has recently started having a problem with wetting herself while napping or sleeping. She is completely potty trained and now wears pull ups. I am not sure why we went backwards but I am trying to help her. Walker is extremely fussy lately and barely naps during the day. Yesterday he slept twice in the car, I went to visit a family member and it was the most he has slept in days. Not sure why he is having a sleep problem during the day but am thankful it is not at night. The last time we weighed him he was 16.5 pounds. I will have to weigh him to see how much he has gained recently. He will be four months on 4/26. My little boy is growing so fast. It makes me sad to realize how fast my kids are growing. I am going to try to give myself a little me time a day to do things beside shower, drink coffee and read my book at night. I promise to write each morning during coffee time or atleast a few times a day. Please don't think I don't want want to be a mom or that I don't like my kids, I am trying to just find a balance. I have a brain that likes to continue to have knowledge. I used to read textbooks about different subjects when I was bored when I was 20. I think I might do that again, I'm weird but I like learning new things and not feeling like my brain is turning to mush. Ok well Evil e has woken up and coffee time is almost over so tomorrow my friends......

When patience isn't enough

It's been awhile since I have written in this and a lot has happened. I am 30 weeks pregnant and so done. I am glad third trimester moves fast but i wish it would go by faster. I have heartburn, back hurts all the time, hard to sleep at times, wake up numerous times through the night to go pee. My pre-eclampsia has started showing a little bit. There was a trace of it in my urine the last ob appointment so we wait for two weeks till my next appointment and if there is a higher amount they will decide from there what to do. My maternal fetal medicine doctor has told me that he will take my son out as early as 34 weeks if preeclampsia shows since it can get complicated with the pregnancy. So we will see. My diabetes is sorta getting into trouble with lots of upping my insulin at night since my fastening numbers have been super high. Its hard being pregnant and diabetic you want to eat everything sweet. 9 more weeks to go and jelly bean will be here. No I still don't have a name its either walker or Niko. Hubby wants Niko, I want walker but we  both like each name. So we are torn. So to be continued..... My Evil e will be 3 in February which I can't believe how fast time flies and how much she is growing,  talking, learning, and will no longer by my little baby. Stupid hormones making me sad and want to cry while writing this. Then there is my little sweet pea Mysterious m. She has recently been put in inpatient at a hospital for children and adolescents who have behavioral issues. She had a plan to kill herself and I had to act on it or I would never forgive myself if something was to happen to her.This past year has been a hard year for her and all of us. She has been more moody, aggressive, homicidal and suicidal. But a lot of these instances alone makes you think its a typical 12 year old trying to figure out who they are and nothing to worry about but in the big picture with all of it together you realize there is a mood disorder here. Which is where her doctors and I are at this moment. So far they think its bipolar and that makes sense to me. So we are running different test to make sure its nothing else and nothing medical. She has been really aggressive to her younger sister and a few times to myself. She has homicidal tendencies to myself and my husband a lot for the last six months. I just thought it was anger. I blame myself a lot for what is going on with her. I know its not my fault. But I knew that something like this would eventually happen since i have family members that have mental health problems. I shouldn't say I knew I should say I always worried that it would happen. I just want her happy and healthy. It is hard for me to not have her here with me, to see what she is going through and to not be able to make it go away. I know none of its my fault or hers or any ones. But as her mom i will blame myself time to time since that is what moms do. I did the best thing and put her where she is getting great care and counseling, medication and the testing that she needs. I see her twice a week for visiting hours and once a week for family counseling plus she talks to me 10 minutes every day but that doesn't take the whole in my heart away. It is hard but it would have been harder if i didn't do anything. But I still miss my baby. I can't wait for the day I can take her home and smother her with kisses till she screams. I just get sad because it is November and there is so much going on this month with my baby shower, birthday party for a cousin, thanksgiving, school stuff and for some of it she won't be out to see it. She was admitted Monday and it has only been a few days but so far they are talking a few weeks up to six maybe longer. I am hoping it will be on the shorter end. But I don't want her to come home to early and not get the care she needs. Plus being the weekend today is super hard on me. Because weekends are family time and we spend every moment with each other. We are a close family and being apart sucks. My natural instinct when I am sad is to eat crappy junk food and sweets. Being diabetic I can't do that. That sucks. So tonight we went grocery shopping and i overindulged in buying sweets that I will slowly eat instead of the binge eating i would love to do. I am going to try to occupy my mind this weekend it is just hard when i am sad. Plus during the week I am talking to her doctors, her school counselor, therapist for hours every day that I can't do anything for awhile which keeps me inside and makes me lonely. Its a tough time right now and I am so grateful for all of my friends and family who have shown love and support. I am trying to read, write or paint during the day to take my mind off of things for a few hours. My body is showing the stress by having a rough night sleep, stomach issues and feeling dehydrated but i take care of myself and that is all that i can do. Right now I am trying to remember just breathe. Just keep swimming is what comes to my mind and has always helped me when I come into rough spots in life. I love that movie. 80's music helps too especially foot loose makes me want to dance and the upbeat music helps uplift me. I needed to get this all of my chest and I promise to write more than a few months or weeks at a time. Dale got his wisdom tooth pulled out today and his mouth is hurting him so I have to finish writing so that i can give him some tlc and eat a late dinner.

New adventures in sleepy town

It has been two weeks since school started and I still hate getting up at 650/7am. I sometimes don't shower till 830. I have a routine going every morning and feel very accomplished. I am more tired now than I have ever been. I had energy in this trimester until I started waking up early. We even mad the night time routine better so kids are asleep in bed no later than 9, we can have adult time and he can be in bed by 10. Me not so much I read my book (which finally started to get good so I can finally get through it and onto the next book in that series) til either 11 or fall asleep reading it and wake up to go to the bathroom and shut off the light. But so far the night and day routine has worked out fine. I was proud of myself last week I finally got energy, motivation and cooperation from a little lady (emie) to do my house cleaning on Friday. There has been however problems with Mysterious m's attitude and behavior and now it is rubbing off onto her school work. It takes her 5 hours to do homework. Now I have to cut homework off at 6pm so she can do her little bit of chores and night time routine then she can finish homework. I have emailed the team leader (middle school grades are split into two teams) about her doing homework for 5-6 hours and having issues with it. She already knew that she was having issues before I emailed her, meaning she is showing this behavior at school. Great. I had to do the same thing last year with her last team leader. Last year was horrendous. She didn't turn in assignments on time or at all. She had bad organization skills where her homework was crumbled, thrown in locker, she didn't write assignments down in her assignment notebook, wasn't letting us check her homework and her grades were failing. Well only two were bad math and literature. After the team leader was working with us (I am not at school and can't see what she is doing there) her math grade went up from a c to an a! Her literature went from a D to a B! She did great and ended up on honor roll and was proud of herself. Now she is falling back into bad behaviors, when asked why she sasses back, doesn't care, doesn't do chores, doesn't do her homework she says I just don't care about life. I don't understand why someone who has a good life doesn't care. I had a bad life when I was her age and all I wanted was someone to care enough to discipline me, and show me the things i show her. She just doesn't get what I do for her instead she says I am mean when I punish her. WTF. Oh well what can I do. All I can do is just keep working with her team leader, keep the communication open with her and punish when needed. Emie has gone on a learning schedule. Which we always were on but I am more strict about it during school time. I teach her colors, alphabet, letters, numbers, different harder words, her full name, where she lives, she watches educational shows, reads educational books. I try my best to teach her the way i should. My new adventure has been starting a business with Avon. I decided to try to do it since I love Avon and it would be nice for some extra money. I have a website where you can buy online if you want. http://htenney.avonrepresentative.com/. So far my only customer has been my mom who bough a lot from me last campaign. The new campaign is 18 and is due in 6 days on 8/27. I am nervous that I won't sell this campaign. I really want my business to succeed. I have advertised on Craig's list, twitter, my Avon face book fan page:
https://www.face book.com/HeathersAvonMarkAndTinyTilliaPage
and I have even left books at Woodman's in Wisconsin along with some business cards i have. Still no new customers or orders. I gave some books to my mil, my mom and some family members. I am nervous this won't work. I am trying to stay positive. I just really want to be successful and make some extra money for my family. I stress out over money and this would help me not stress out. If you would like to buy online go on my site, if you would like to order directly through me you can email me at heathertenney@rocketmail.com and I will give you my info. I have some books for campaign 18 & 19. 19 is halloween stuff and I will be having a launch party for that campaign so people can see the product. So hopefully I can sell more and get more customers. Fingers crossed. My other adventure is this pregnancy. As you all know I am high risk so I go to my ob every 3 weeks, and a maternal fetal medicine doctor every 2 weeks. Today I will be seeing a dietitian for my diabetes. I am type 2 and have been since before my second, maybe before that. I had a few bad doctors that didn't care about my health issues before emie ( i was on public aid and they treated me badly), now I have awesome doctors who want to make sure I get the medicine I need for my multiple sclerosis and diabetes. I am having my thyroid checked out and my heart too. They are worried about these things. I see my new neurologist soon. So I am on a doctor schedule, that is the way my mfm likes it. So far baby boy is growing well and strong. Hes very healthy. Which is great news. I will write again soon need to take my blood sugar level and try to convince emie for us to leave house since I am bored. :)

Summer is almost over

I haven't been on in almost two months. It has been hard trying to keep a 12 year old and a 2 year old busy. Two different age groups is hard to keep occupied without hearing I'm bored from the older one. Although you still heard that word no matter what. Also the last month Evil e has decided that she would have a pacifier full time again and stop potty training. The past week I have weaned her off for a few hours at a time of the pacifier. She doesn't take it at bedtime. Potty training has been back to full affect the past week. Not sure why she did all this but I am assuming it might be the new baby growing in my tummy that she is jealous of. She is super excited and likes to hear his heartbeat (I have a home doppler so I can hear the baby)and talk to him. I have a video monitor and she thinks she can see the baby in my tummy with that she is confused that you have to wait for baby to come out before you see him lol. She is speaking so well in sentences, counting more and more excited about life in general. When her sister starts school on august 13, I will start teaching her pre-school stuff and doing more craft activities and more play dates. She loves to finger paint and draw. I am also thinking of getting her into some sort of dance class and gymnastics for toddlers. She loves to do both. For us summer is almost over since my oldest starts school on Monday. She will be in 7th grade. I can't believe how time flies by. Last year she improved her grades so much that she went on honor roll. I am so proud of her. This year she wants to keep that up. Sometime this week I have to take her to get her first day of school outfit. It is our tradition and spending us time. Its fun, she loves it a lot. My husband has been doing more overtime for extra money which is nice but I miss him. Still trying to work in a date night. Need to find a sitter first or train the 12 year old harder. I really would like to go to the movies or dinner without kids. Our us time usually is at night after kids go to bed. As for jelly bean we do have names picked out and some family members know. I might make it a vote on here, not sure yet about that. I suddenly just got a craving for a chicken sandwich from wendys. Ok back to writing lol. He is growing more and more, kicking more and this second trimester hasn't been too bad. First trimester was horrible. This is me so far and I am 17 weeks and counting. 
I can't wait to see him and hold him. As far as I go I have been slowly reading book 4 of 6 from vampire academy on my tablet. And I just want to get past this book it is slow and not enough action plus i want to hurry up and read this series so I can read the book I have been waiting for. Shadow of night by Deborah harkness. It is book 2 of 3. 3 unfortunately is not out yet and there is talk about a movie coming out for the first book. I loved that book so much i felt like i was cheating on the main character with my husband lol. You get involved in that book. I love that when that happens. All right will be heading off here so I can do my inventory/menu/grocery list. Later I will come back on and give some budget tips and explain my menu process. I have been asked by a few friends to tell them about it and I decided to do a blog on it.

My jelly bean

Jelly bean is what we call the baby. My husband was calling the baby tapeworm (he thought he was funny) and I thought jelly bean was nicer and more appropriate. So far jelly bean has made me extremely nauseous and I have a sour stomach every night. I wake up every night at 2am and can't fall asleep till 4 or 5 am. Partially because I am wide awake after going to the bathroom and partially because I now have a sour stomach so I am eating tums and thinking about things. Some of the things I think about are things I worry about. I know I shouldn't but sometimes I just do either it is from talking to someone or watching things on tv or reading about them. My worries right now have been about miscarriage and if this baby will be alive. I am constantly wondering about the baby inside when I am pregnant. I did this with both girls. Not as bad as I am now with this one but I still did it. Normally I worry in the third trimester. I think it might be because this time it was planned and this time I have someone who wants it as bad as I do. I strongly believe my children are miracles since I have one ovary (one was removed in 1996 when I had a huge softball sized cyst on my ovary and they couldn't remove my cyst without the ovary)and one of my Fallopian tubes is scarred from having an eptopic pregnancy and they removed the baby and there was scarring. So I full heartly believe my kids are miracles. I just can't believe that a universe that would give me a miracle would take that away. I know it happens and all baby are miracles. And I am not saying that the babies that aren't born aren't miracles. I believe they are too and all babies are. I just am trying to be positive and want a good outcome for myself. So the newest thing my jelly bean has given me is constipation. I have been in so much discomfort i started having a sharp pain so I called the doctor and they told me to take a stool softener and a fiber chew. Hopefully this works which I think it will. I can't wait for time to speed up and for me to meet this baby. I am only 8.5 weeks and I am ready to be done lol. It seems when you are pregnant that it takes forever and when the baby is born time flashes so fast that the child becomes grown. Look how fast time has flown for me. Mysterious m is 12 and Evil e is 2. As you can see in the pictures above they have grown so much. Mysterious m  is so tall and Evil e has hair. I love both my girls I wish they would not grow so fast. I just want them to be my babies forever. I love being a sahm to Evil e and teaching her new things. She knows her colors, abcs, is learning parts of Spanish and Italian, can count to 10. She talks more and more clearly. Mysterious m is entering 7th grade next year and is on honor roll. I love watching their different personalities and likes/dislikes. One is a tomb boy(Evil e) and one is a girly girl(mysterious m) and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am also very excited that I have my 1 year anniversary on Monday to my awesome husband. I look forward to 50 more with him. I have known him for 10 years and am glad to have picked him as my soul mate. We are perfect together. Now I will go switch my laundry and finish making dinner. I won't wait so long to write another.

Mothers day and catching up

My mother's day was pretty good. I went out to eat with my in laws and visited with them after. My husband got me a crock pot, a canopy bench swing, a stand for my tablet and chocolates from see candies. He spoils me. (This is why I love him, j/k lol) My oldest bought me fake flowers and arranged them from me. (I am allergic to real flowers)I also found out we are pregnant (we will jump up and down and talk endlessly about it when i see baby on ultrasound on may 22). That was a good weekend then came the week and I am sick with tonsillitis and stomach issues thanks to the unmentionable #3. Typical for me in my condition that is one of the reasons I am high risk, low immune system. We have also had huge internet issues with it going out every day and sometimes I could only go on for a few minutes to only 2 hours a day, thankfully enough time to pay bills. So I have been going on the internet on my phone, not the same btw. And my phone has issues can't wait to upgrade that. I have not cleaned my house in awhile from not feeling good to being very tired to being busy I don't feel accomplished right now. So today I have a burst of energy right now for some reason and I plan on cleaning after I eat. I also plan in the next week on being very preschooling with my youngest and being more educational less tv on (although she doesn't really watch very much, I just don't like quiet, I know I am weird but I am use to lots of talking from when I was a kid and lived with grandparents, family.) I want to try busy bags and fun educational make your own games, plus my oldest will be out of school next Wednesday so we can go to pools, zoos, morton arboreteum more. Not like we haven't but more fun when we all can and since the weather is nice we can start going to Wisconsin where our family home is and go on the boat and swim and fish. Too bad I can't go on the inner tube because of unmentionable #3 but that is what happens when you want to be a mom. I also can't go on the jet ski but i will find other ways to have fun. I love summer and all the things you can do in it.

Prisoner of the terrible twos

Today I had an event set up for my mom's group that i am a leader of. Evil e woke up early at 7:45am because of mysterious m. So that was going to be a rough start no matter what. As i was going to take a shower, Evil e decided that she had to take one with me. I was fine with this. She got naked and we have a big enough shower with a glass door to fit two people (well two adults like six little emies lol)and she enjoyed washing her hair and body like a big person. Then i let her run around in her diaper while i finished getting ready.Her hair is naturally curly and it got even curlier running around. As you can see below. Then shortly after that she had an
explosion in her diaper of the runs. It was so gross and running down her legs. I cleaned her up and decided she needed time to see if she was going to get sick again before we went to the event. (just so you know i have stopped writing this four times to check on what trouble she is getting into) Than as I dressed her she had a complete melt down and didn't like her dress with leggings i put on. Yes she is that picky sometimes on what she wears. So i took it off and put on a shirt and she kept saying no shirt no shirt. This my friends is a bad emie day a day where i can't get out of the house because she throws tantrum after tantrum and i won't go anywhere with a screaming child. Instead we will read or watch movies at home. If she behaves we will go to the library or somewhere close. I always make events an hour or so away from where i live since there isn't much out here by me and i am trying to be fair to other members and there distances. But it always seems with emie and her terrible twos i can never get out the door. Sometimes i am even 30minutes -1 hour late to events. I feel guilty and feel like i should stay in the house away from everyone so that no one sees my bad terrible 2. Mysterious m didn't go through the terrible 2s like this. Hers wasn't so bad but now she is going through the terrible pre-teens. Sometimes with all of the crying and tantrums from both girls i just want to run to Tahiti or have a stiff drink. All i can do is try to get through the moment and hope to calm both of them down and survive through the day without killing children lol. Now that i got that out and i finally came back to blogging after 3 months i am going to take emie to a garage sale in  my neighborhood. Don't get me wrong i still want to do events and meet new moms. I especially want to meet moms in my town so i don't have to drive far for a social encounter i just don't know how to with her terrible 2s. I am in desperate need of mom friends to hang out with more and get close with. I so need and want a best friend who is not my husband. Tata for now since emie is throwing a fit since i wont let her run water in the sink lol.

lt's been awhile.

I know it has been awhile since I have written in this blog. I got busy with the holidays and sometimes I just don't feel like writing or talking. I know I shouldn't feel this way since it only makes me feel lonelier and more blue. But   its an old way that I use to deal with things. I have been trying more and more to get out of the house. I hate winter and it is hard for me to get motivated to go somewhere when i know that it is cold and usually to go to a fun place, I have to drive a pretty good distance. That is the same reason I don't see my friends. Most people and things I want to do is 35 minutes to an hour away but with a child who hates being in cars (as much as my little Evil e does), plus me hating how other people drive, those are the reasons I barely leave my house. Plus I don't like to spend a lot because of financial issues. But I finally said I can't do this anymore. I have been fighting depression all winter long and enough is enough. So a little each week I go out like one or two days a week with emie. (hey baby steps, i would like to do more but once or twice a week is a start). I am also going to try to limit tv time for evil e during the day and be more organized with time. I am going to treat home like it would be for her at school. I am going to have a music time, art time, learning sign language time(i have taught her since she was six months but not consistently),learning numbers and letters time. I want to feel like I am actually teaching her something and that we are interacting more. I know that she knows a lot of words and is very smart. We do play a lot with each other each day but I need structure for me so that I am not bored during the day as much as I am. This way I can cut down my computer time. I am addicted to my computer and Internet. I am always playing on facebook or doing something online. I want to cut that down when emie is awake, mikayla is home from school and when my hubbie is home. My goal is to  give emie the structured time she needs then real me time(which is during nap time and which consists of reading a book, painting or scrap booking. Things I keep saying I will get to but am tired of making excuses and am doing it now). Then when Mysterious m comes home after homework I will give her quality time and the same with my husband. I do give everyone attention but feel I need to give more. I am feeling like because I don't work anymore outside of the home that I  am not really doing anything. I do cook,clean and take care of kids but am not feeling my purpose in life. So structure will be good for me.

Catching up

I know its been awhile since I have been on here. I have been busy with life. I know it's no excuse and I promise to never do it again. To catch you up Halloween was so much fun. I have a family tradition that the adults dress up in anything they want (as long as they use there imagination). This year was fun and awesome. I dressed up as my husband on the job. He works as a generator diesel technician and that is what I dressed as. Below is a picture of me on the left. My oldest mikayla in the middle. My dad on the right. Below all of us is my husband and emerald. Evil e is snow white. She was walking around with an apple while trick or treating. We trick or treated for about two hours before getting cold. We also did some pretty cool carvings on our pumpkins. I love Halloween it is my favorite holiday. I have been going to the dentist every week to have my teeth fixed. I have periodontal disease so I have had a deep cleaning on both sides of my mouth, next is to fill the seven cavities I got while being pregnant with Evil e. Then after all that I have a root canal to do to my left upper molar after cracking it over 15 months ago. The final thing will be to extract my wisdom tooth(third one I have had pulled) which has a cavity and they don't want to keep it once it starts giving problems. So each week I go through the numbness of the Novocaine and the pain of my teeth. But eventually we will get them all done. I am excited for Monday's since one of my close friends comes over to my house and we have a coffee date and chit chat all day. I look forward to that day. I am still trying to get out of the house a little a day and have play dates each week although it doesn't happen all the time. Sometimes it can be weeks before I have a play date. It is just hard driving to see friends who live over 35 minutes away when Evil e hates car rides. It doesn't matter what I do to entertain her, music, toys, pacifier or DVD, she still wants to get out of her car seat and leave the car. I still get a little overwhelmed about money and bills but not as much anymore. I am trying to live life to the fullest with my family and penny pinch as much as I can. A few weeks ago I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I was so excited that i put it out on facebook and told all my relatives. I started bleeding the next day and didn't feel like a period. I went to the e.r(I so need a doctor) and they found out that the test was a false positive. I felt so crushed and so stupid. I felt stupid for going to the er for a period and for the fact that i got a false positive. But what can you do. It wasn't my fault, it was just a let down. For now I stopped keeping track of my fertile days like we have done for the past year and just focused on making sure we make love 3-4 times a week. All you married people know that with kids, keeping a house in order and work means your more tired and just want to sleep and not do anything. Doesn't mean I don't want it or that I don't love him, its just sometimes with running around after Evil e and the multiple sclerosis, I am so tired it hurts to be awake. So sometimes I would rather sleep than be that intimate. So now we are trying to focus on us and being more intimate so that are relationship stays healthy and we stay connected. (By the way we were only intimate 4-7 times a month before) I know it may be too much information for all of you but I have to be honest if I am going to be true to myself on here. I have also been seeing my mom more and more either at my house or in public places. We are working hard on our relationship and so far it is good. I am really happy with my life. Today we had to put locks on our pantry, our extra freezer we have in the laundry room, these huge glass cabinets we have in the living room, since our oldest has decided to cheat & without asking eat our ice cream and all dairy  products. (In case everyone did not know my oldest has been allergic since birth to dairy which means no butter,cheese, milk absolutely no dairy at all. We have to read a lot of labels to make sure there is no dairy in it) She eats soy ice cream, soy yogurt, soy milk and soy snacks. But from time to time she cheats. I have been getting up at 630am to get ready and be downstairs before she starts her morning at 7am. When I wasn't downstairs right away was when she was cheating. So now I have to watch her like a hawk to make sure she is eating right and is doing her morning chores. If anyone thought raising a pre teen would be easy they are mistaken. But I have patience and I know we can over come all of this. Plus her grades have dramatically proved from this year to last year. She will get past this, I know it. OK all I am very full from eating a frozen yogurt treat from Yumz and watching gnomeo and Juliet that I think I will go to bed.

When it rains it pours

Lately I have been MIA with friends and doing play dates. It isn't because i don't want to see them. It is solely because of all of the stress from bills and money issues. I have still had a coffee all day in house friend session with my bestie on Monday's. If not for her I would not have any adult interaction except for my hubby and brother. I haven't left the house in three weeks except for grocery shopping or family get togethers like birthdays, baby showers and wedding showers. I try to leave to go on an outing outside of home or a play date but I don't want to spend any money in fear of all of the money issues since I am the one who pays the bills and sees everything. I hate knowing sometimes. Just as I was finding solutions to things I get hit with another problem. I had a dentist appointment today for a tooth I cracked a year ago. I never got it fixed since i didn't have insurance. So I found out that my periodontal disease isn't resolved and i need a deep scaling again on both sides plus I have 8 cavities plus a wisdom tooth that is having issues so it will be pulled out plus the cracked tooth needs a root canal. This was not what I was expecting. So now I have to cover all of this after the insurance or I will lose teeth. I really need a break from bad stuff and money issues. Or I need to win the lottery. I pick option b lol. OK since that won't happen I am trying to find ways to make my money problems easier. I have often thought and discussed about me going back to work but we agreed it can't happen since I will be paying for a sitter. I apply all the time for babysitting/nannying jobs but when they see that my 19month old is with me they don't want to hire  me because they don't think I can focus on their kid and mine. I do go online every day and do surveys that pay me money but its not a lot. I am not complaining because every little bit counts. I try to stay positive and find ways to make everything work but things start to pile up and the stress gets to me. So I stay in the house so i don't spend any money and I am going crazy in this house. I miss my friends. I also decided on finding play groups in my town since the moms group I was in was at my old address that I lived a year ago and most events are not always close for me. I don't mind driving distances to see people but sometimes it just gets hard with Evil E's nap time. I really need adult conversation. I get depressed and lonely sometimes but I am trying. I am grateful for the friends I do have and the family I have.

sometimes you win

Today I had a good day. I am very proud of myself for saving over 70 dollars on groceries. Normally we spend around 250 each week on groceries. Which for me is insane. I hate spending that much money. I coupon clip every week either by newspaper or online. I have read other blogs and bought on sales but nothing worked until I got smart and figured it out for myself. What worked for me was to make an inventory of all of the things that we have in the house food wise. Then I sat down and made a menu from that inventory. I made a menu for two weeks. The next step was to add on the grocery list only the items I needed from the menu after using things from the inventory. The result a grocery bill of 180. I plan on making that a lower bill next week. I also have looked up recipes so that we are not having the same things over and over again. There is also a leftover sheet on my wall, so when we have leftovers we write down what the item is and what date we put it in the fridge. I did this because my hubby was constantly asking how old is this? Sometimes I would remember but I decided this was a better way. When we eat a leftover it is crossed off. Also every Thursday we have a leftover night where we eat what leftovers we want and Friday we throw away the whatever is a week old. This way food is not wasted and we aren't making science experiments. My wall by my dishwasher looks like a paper wall lol. There is a grocery list, leftover list, inventory list and list of rules for my oldest. Plus we have two whiteboards. One is for the reading competition my oldest and I are having. The other is a list of daily chores and punishments for the oldest, plus dates of when I last did the household chores(see because of my multiple sclerosis, I sometimes forgot when I do things, so this helps me having reminders). Also we use it to put up list of things we want to do like clean the garage, mail letters, stuff like that. I know I am a bit of an organizer freak, but I like being structured it helps me. Another good thing that happened today was my oldest came home from school and started on her homework without anyone asking. She finished it in an hour and gave it to me to check it. Then she went upstairs and started on her chores with out me asking. I was so happy for her behavior that I went upstairs and told her how proud I was. She said she just felt like being good. It was a good night with no arguing by her and a good visit with my dad(which we do on Wednesdays). Also got to try out this frozen yogurt place by my house called yumz. It was so yummy. You walk in and get a container and fill it with whatever flavor yogurt you like then add toppings then weigh then pay. It was fun. A good ending to a good day. I am so proud of myself today and I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. I also decided today that on a daily basis or at least a few times a week I will put makeup on and do my hair to feel pretty and boost my self esteem. You see I normally don't wear makeup anymore well I do but only eyeliner and eyebrow pencil unless I go out to see friends. And I usually throw my hair up in a bun or ponytail when I am home. I am starting to feel homely and have low self esteem. So besides the feeling pretty part I will also start to walk every day at night with my hubby and kids so I am not stuck in the house and so that I can stay toned up. I decided to not feel so bored but to do something about it. Also during nap time I will read and paint and not just stay glued to the laptop. Today I feel motivated.

When you feel like your not good enough

I am having a real bad day today. I haven't left the house in over a week except for errands. I do go outside to either the park or my back yard but that's about it.I am having a hard time with my oldest and it is making me feel like I am a failure as a parent and a woman. I punish her to the point that everything is taken away. She doesn't care. On a regular basis she doesn't bring her homework home and she gets punished but she doesn't care. I have emailed teachers and followed up like a hawk on assignments but I just don't know what to do. I know a lot of this is her age and pushing boundaries but its just hard on me. I lock myself in the house punishing myself thinking I did something wrong for her to be this way. I really feel alone. I do the best as I can as a parent. Being a parent is never easy. I just don't know what to do. Am I a bad mom? I stopped talking to my family because too many of my aunts and uncles were saying things like I wasn't a good mom or deserved to have kids. Is this true? Were they just saying the truth and I was getting offended because I didn't want to know the truth at the time. I am hitting a low point right now and am scared to be this vulnerable on this blog but the same time I need to get it all out. I have so many emotions bottling up and I feel like I will explode. I feel so alone and feel like I suck as a person. Will I mess my other children up as well? I am trying to get out of this funk but I have felt strange for over a week. I haven't been sleeping well, I am really stressed, I am bored and lonely. I decided today I would find time to do arts and crafts with the kids but most of all I would find time for me to go to my room and paint. I just feel like I need a hobby or a creative outlet to get all of this stress out. I really need a friend right now and a big hug. Maybe I will make cupcakes or something chocolate to make me feel better. Sometime last week when I was having a bad day with my oldest, my hubby gave me this.

I know my hubby is here for me and I appreciate it. I really do. It's just hard after being a single mom for so long to realize you are not alone and you have someone there to help hold the burden of the house, help with the kids, the bills, everything.

Doing charitable things can be good for the soul

My husband has recently called me the free-cycle queen. I love to check my email and see what others are offering and what thing I can get for the kids. For those of you who don't know what free-cycle is it is a website where you can recycle the things you were already getting rid of and give it to people who need or want those items. There are towns in every state that have one. I don't always take things, I do offer as well. I offered 18 items yesterday and all day today people have been picking them up. This way I don't have to throw away things I don't want. I think whoever came up with this site was a genius! But I have encountered that some people can be a little greedy and think that because they have problems and you are giving things away that you should give away everything you have to them because there in need. I had multiple email conversations with a woman who has two children 5 and 10 months. She is on wic, food stamps and unemployed. She was wondering why I wouldn't with all of my youngest clothes and toys. I told her the things she wasn't using I was keeping in case the next child we have is a girl. I understand her predicament because I was a single mom for years. I was on wic, unemployment and food stamps. But I would never act as if it was someoneelses problem or fault that i was in that predicament. I did what I had to do for my kids and myself. That is what you have to do. I am not saying that you shouldn't get help- if you can get it, you should get it. I just think you shouldn't expect anyone to help you. There are churches, mom organization's that help women in trouble with food or clothing. There are also donation places like Amway. You can get help. I am helping her out with the things I can give. I just feel a little hurt and used when someone is yelling at me when I am helping them. I didn't do this to you but I will help you. So please be nice to me. That's all I ask. I believe we need a little more generosity and kindness in this world. On another note Miss Evil Ewalks around shaking her head and saying no a lot. I have to love almost two year olds. I also am loving the last day of summer but still feel like ick with my allergies/sinus/cold thing I have going on.

Some thoughts

I love this fall weather.I love when it is not too hot and not cold. In the 70s is perfect weather for me. All of the windows are open and the breeze in here is awesome. I feel accomplished today since I have the house cleaned. I have to clean the house when my hubby comes home instead of trying to do it when Evil E is sleeping since her wake up time differs day to day. She always gets 12  hours of sleep which the doc says is good. We went to the doctor on Tuesday and she is in the 95 percentile for her height but her weight is 33 percent. They say she is slim although the kid can eat a lot. But since she is tall and very active she burns all the weight off. My oldest was the same way as a baby and still is. She got three shots and we need to go back next month for three more than she is caught up till she is 2. In two weeks I take Mysterious M to the doctor for her shots and six grade physical. Then its time for me to go to doctor. Fun Fun not. I need to check on why I can't get pregnant after a year of trying and to check on my multiple sclerosis and the way it is progressing. I can definitely feel the change in weather, I have a sinus headache and can feel my sinuses dripping. Evil e has a cold for a few days. Very minor could be reaction to shots or a cold starting. Her eating habits though are sometimes she is interested sometimes not. I usually let her snack if she didn't eat all her breakfast or lunch. She eats better for hubby then me. I have been thinking a lot lately about what I can do to change the world. I know it sounds strange or a very large thought but I want to change the world and be remembered. I do recycle and help others but I want to do something for the history books. Just not sure what. I am open to suggestions. I am also looking for babysitting/nanny work to keep me occupied, give Evil e a playmate and some extra money but so far no luck except for the occasional friend babysitting. I am thinking of starting some arts and crafts for Evil e and I to do during the day. I am also thinking of studying a textbook for fun to keep me occupied during the week. I still am going to go back to school but I am one of those rare weird people who need to keep giving themselves knowledge so I don't get bored with life. I know strange. I am proud of myself this week I have made an active step in fixing a problem in my marriage the bedroom part. It is on my part I have the issue (not sure if I will get in detail on here), it comes from issues from my past. But we are making hedge way. So I am proud of myself. Thinking today is a walk kind of day. I want to go for a walk each day with Evil e so I can lose the few pounds I gained by being a chocoholic.

The silent enemie

Last night I was feeling really dizzy and nauseous. It wouldn't go away no matter what I tried. Also it hurt bad to swallow. Then I became incoherent and couldn't move my legs. My husband took me to the emergency room. They ran my blood and put an iv in me. My potassium and calcium was low. But more important than that my multiple sclerosis is progressing worse. Because Multiple sclerosis is a silent disease where you can't see every little thing it does to me people don't understand when you are walking with a cane, slur your words, forget what things are called, why sometimes you can get very emotional for no reason, trip over yourself, be so tired it hurts and in so much pain in your body you just want to evacuate your body. I get frustrated that no one close to me but my father and brother have done the research to see how my disease affects me on a daily basis. I was diagnosed in 2003 when i had a mini stroke. They did all the tests MRI, cat scan and two spinal taps. I had a neurologist and was on medication for awhile but it conflicted with being a mom so I stopped taking it and the doctor wasn't listening to me so I stopped going to her. I am in the process of finding a new neurologist and doctor since I have insurance from my husband and not public aid anymore. I just feel alone sometimes with this disease. I know there is a lot of people who have the same disease and I am a member of the Multiple Sclerosis Society but it is hard being in my circle of friends and family being the only one with this disease and no one really understanding it. I just wish that someone would understand all of the pain and uncomfort I go through every day. Sometimes I wake up and am so tired it hurts to be awake. It is hard to have a disease like this and have kids. I do the best I can and I keep going and I usually have my head held high and don't let this disease affect my well being but it is hard. Really hard to not let it affect me. I just wish I could make it go away. I know what doesn't kill me will make me stronger but this will actually kill me. All I can do is just keep swimming (thanks dori for the inspiration, love finding nemo). Below is some information about multiple sclerosis.  Ssymptoms of MS are:Tingling, Numbness, Loss of balance, Weakness in one or more limbs, and Blurred or double vision. 

As the disease progresses, other symptoms may include muscle spasms, sensitivity to heat, fatigue, changes in thinking or perception, and sexual disturbances.

• Fatigue . This is a characteristic and common symptom of MS. It is typically present in the mid afternoon and may consist of increased muscle weakness, mental fatigue, sleepiness, or drowsiness. Physical exhaustion is not related to the amount of work performed; and many patients with MS complain of extreme fatigue even after a good night's sleep.  
• Heat sensitivity . Heat sensitivity (the appearance or worsening of symptoms when exposed to heat, like a hot shower) occurs in most people with MS.
• Spasticity . Muscle spasms are a common and often debilitating symptom of MS. Spasticity usually affects the muscles of the legs and arms, and may interfere with a persons ability to move those muscles freely.
• Dizziness. Many people with MS complain of feeling "off balance" or lightheaded. Occasionally they may experience the feeling that they or their surroundings are spinning; this is called vertigo. These symptoms are caused by damage in the complex nerve pathways that coordinate vision and other inputs into the brain that are needed to maintain balance.
• Impaired thinking . Problems with thinking occur in about half of people with MS. For most, this means slowed thinking, decreased concentration, or decreased memory. Approximately 10% of people with the disease have severe impairment that significantly impairs their ability to carry out tasks of daily living.
• Vision problems . Vision problems are relatively common in people with MS. In fact, one vision problem, optic neuritis, occurs in 55% of people with the condition.This can result in blurring or graying of vision or blindness in one eye.  However ,most vision problems in MS do not lead to blindness.
• Abnormal sensations. Many people with MS experience abnormal sensations such as "pins and needles," numbness, itching, burning, stabbing, or tearing pains. Fortunately, most of these symptoms, while aggravating, are not life-threatening or debilitating and can be managed or treated.
• Speech and swallowing problems . People with MS often have swallowing difficulties. In many cases, they are associated with speech problems as well. They are caused by damaged nerves that normally aid in performing these tasks.
• Tremors . Fairly common in people with MS, tremors can be debilitating and difficult to treat.
• Difficulty walking. Gait disturbances are amongst the most common symptoms of MS. Mostly this problem is related to muscle weakness and/or spasticity, but having balance problems or numbness in your feet can also make walking difficult.

What Are the Types of Symptoms?

It is helpful to divide the symptoms into three categories: primary, secondary, and tertiary.

Primary symptoms are a direct result of the demyelination process. This impairs the transmission of electrical signals to muscles (to allow them to move appropriately) and the organs of the body (allowing them to perform normal functions.) The symptoms include: weakness, tremors, tingling, numbness, loss of balance, vision impairment, paralysis, and bladder or bowel problems. Medication, rehabilitation, and other treatments can help keep many of these symptoms under control.

Secondary symptoms result from primary symptoms. For example, paralysis (a primary symptom) can lead to bedsores (pressure sores) and bladder or urinary incontinence problems can cause frequent, recurring urinary tract infections. These symptoms can be treated, but the ideal goal is to avoid them by treating the primary symptoms.

Tertiary symptoms are the social, psychological, and vocational complications associated with the primary and secondary symptoms. Depression, for example, is a common problem among people with MS.

What Causes the Symptoms?

Demyelination, or deterioration of the protective sheath that surrounds nerve fibers, can occur in any part of the brain or spinal cord. The symptoms that people with MS experience depend on the affected area. Demyelination in the nerves that send messages to the muscles causes problems with movement (motor symptoms), while demyelination along the nerves that carry sensory messages to the brain causes disturbances in sensation.

Are Symptoms the Same in Every Person?

Multiple sclerosis follows a varied and unpredictable course. In many people, the disease starts with a single symptom, followed by months or even years without any progression of symptoms. In others, the symptoms become worse within weeks or months.

There are four courses that MS takes:

• Relapsing-remitting MS: characterized by unpredictable acute attacks, called "exacerbations," with worsening of symptoms followed by full, partial, or no recovery of some function. These attacks appear to evolve over several days to weeks. Recovery from an attack takes weeks sometimes months. The disease does not worsen in the periods between the attacks. This pattern usually occurs early in the course of MS in most people.
• Primary-progressive MS: characterized by a gradual but steady progression of disability, without any obvious relapses and remissions. This form of disease occurs in just 15% of all people with MS, but it is the most common type of MS in people who develop the disease after the age of 40.
• Secondary-progressive MS: initially begins with a relapsing-remitting course, but later evolves into progressive disease. The progressive part of the disease may begin shortly after the onset of MS, or it may occur years or decades later.
• Progressive-relapsing MS: This is the least common form of the disease and is characterized by a steady progression in disability with acute attacks that may or may not be followed by some recovery. People with progressive relapsing MS initially appear to have primary progressive MS.

What Is a True Exacerbation (Relapse) of Multiple Sclerosis?

A true exacerbation of multiple sclerosis is caused by an area of inflammation (swelling) in the nerves of the brain and spinal cord system followed by something called demyelination, which is the destruction of myelin. The myelin is the fatty sheath that surrounds and protects the nerve fibers.

Demyelination results in the formation of an abnormal area called a plaque within the brain and/or spinal cord. A plaque causes the nerve impulses to be slowed, distorted, or halted, producing the symptoms of MS. One example of an exacerbation of MS would be the development of optic neuritis, an inflammation of the optic nerve (which is in the back of the eye) that impairs vision.

An exacerbation of MS may be mild and not cause a noticeable impairment in functioning or may significantly interfere with a person's daily life. Exacerbations usually last from several days to several weeks, although they may extend into months.

Exacerbations or relapses of MS are often treated with medications calledcorticosteroids. These drugs reduce inflammation. It is generally accepted that taking corticosteroids for a short amount of time will shorten an exacerbation and/or reduce the severity.

The princess and the pea

Yesterday Emie decided her wake up time was at 830 instead of her normal 1030. I think it is because she is in a toddler bed and not her crib. No biggie just means I have to cut my morning stuff short. So I get her and she is crabby most of the morning and we watched a movie(which usually calms her down). After the movie she decided to tear apart the house and run around crazy. When nap time came around she was ready to go upstairs but didn't want to go to sleep. She wanted to play and have me in there. So I laid her down and said good night and left. I would hear her play for a min then I would go in there and tell her to lay down. I did this three times till she finally fell asleep for only 1 hour and 45 minutes. Her normal nap is 2-3 hours. So we will see what happens today on the sleep schedule. My hubby and I also bought her a toddler comforter for her bed and it is princesses and she was so excited! Yesterday was full of crabbiness, diaper explosions(  I gave her too many blueberries), screaming kids and crazy dogs. Today I hope for it to be less chaotic. ( I said hope, I know I know it probably won't happen but I can wish). I found this nail polish that is a sticker but real nail polish and you stick it on your fingers and file the access off and i love it. I tried three different brands and only one of them worked. I might buy more of this. There is a picture of it at the top of this. I have to hurry and drink my coffee before little miss princess wakes up.

Fabulous Friday- fun Fun weekend

Here are the things I am grateful this weekend:

• Spending time with my family
• Family birthday party tomorrow so I get to spend time with all of my family
• working on cleaning out the garage more
• washing the cars
• swimming and playing on the trampoline
• maybe going to a movie with the hubby
• sleeping in late
• staying in my PJ's