Friday, November 8, 2013

Sink or Swim

Last week I was having such a hard time with stress that I was drowning with the overwhelmness  of it all. I decided to either sink or swim. I chose swim. I have been through too much to let stress drown me. I was worried about losing our house since we are behind on two months of mortgage now going on three. Due to our mortgage company being bought out by another company, my husband told me to wait in July to pay the new company which lead to being one month behind and spiraling from there.

We have received letters from the current mortgage company even though we have filled out paperwork for a forbearance from them. We are in constant communication with the mortgage company so that has worked in our advantage and there was nothing wrong, they just scared me because some dumb dumb at the company didn't know we were in communication. So everything is ok with that which makes my stress less.

Than I was stressed out because of working from home, cleaning, giving kids attention and leaving the house. I just needed a balance and I hadn't had that for quite awhile. So last week while being in the shower I came up with plans to make everything work. First I decided that I had to give up the control I thought I had. Then I told my husband as far as the mortgage went I would put as much money as we can aside for it, plus if we couldn't get a forbearance or catch up that we both agreed we would do a mortgage counseling and if we didn't qualify for that, then ask for money from his parents (which we have done once before and I hate doing that) and if they couldn't give it to us (not saying they can't but was just giving myself a worse case scenario) then we would short sale the house and rent a house. I needed a plan or I was going to drown.

Then as far as the balance for work and house duties along with kids went I decided that I would try to leave at least 1-2 times a week. Friday my balance was great except for the getting out of the house and cleaning part done. What I did was I woke up got ready, got all my morning stuff done, fed everyone and started working. It helps now that I have a battery for my computer so I can bring the laptop everywhere and not worry about it dieing without being plugged in. I worked while eating and feeding kids. I also have a stopping point, which is super important for the balance. If I am going into the office that night (a.k.a my mother in laws) I have an end point at 4pm so I can fold laundry from that day (I do laundry everyday or it just piles up) do one chore and than spend some time with my family before I start cooking. Once I am done cooking I eat, then shower my oldest (yes she is 13 but since she has Aspergers and a huge hygiene issue) I have to wash her hair and watch her shave her armpits and wash herself otherwise her hair looks greasy, she will smell and basically she is just in hot water pushing the dirt around.She gave me a migraine from her smell one day and I don't want her picked on.

The days I don't go into work I end at 5 and do my house chores and family time. Which is nice since I relax more on those days. I went to work three nights in a row last week coming home at 1/2 am than getting up at 6/630 to take care of kids while hubby would get up with the baby in the middle of the night. I was so glad it was Friday and I could finally relax. This week I plan on putting the end time in affect (although I do have to keep watch on work emails and make sure I am still giving quotes to customers if they need them in a timely matter which doesn't take long), making sure my one chore is done that day, laundry is folded and put away and I take kids either to the park every day or leave a few times during the week either in the afternoon or the morning and tell my boss( my brother in law, which I did on Halloween that I am not available from this time to this time). I realized I can do this balance it just takes finesse and patience.

The other stress I had was being lonely and not having a social life. Which I also came up with a plan by talking on face book when I have a chance to friends through messenger more, texting more and planning a time to see them but sticking to it. I know sometimes I am going to have a bad day where kids will annoy me, work will annoy me and I want to scream but this way by making a plan things will be a little less hectic and tiring.

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